So it seems that lately I have been using my blog as more of a spot to "complain" or to list things that will make me feel happier about life.

I'm okay with that, hopefully you readers are as well, because here comes another "whine".

Yesterday I counted 10 things wrong with my life. TEN THINGS!
I'm not about to list them because, let's face it, no one wants to know about all the little roadblocks in my life when there are so many people who have it far worse than I do.

But I've decided to write ELEVEN things that are good in my life in order to outrule the bad:

1. I'm one of the few graduates of my year to have a job in my field.
2. I have many friends who WANT to spend time with me and who WANT to know about my life.
3. I'm catching up on my debt.
4. My four dogs.
5. The many camping trips and small vacays I will be taking this summer.
6. I have a nice tan.
7. My hair is actually being cooperative for once.
8. I went flying in a small plane.
9. I saw Carrie Underwood and in the meantime fell in love with Craig Morgan!
10. I have a great family.
11. For the first time in months, I feel as though I am able to move on.

Is It Crazy For Me To Want It To Work Out?

For the first time in months or perhaps even in a couple of years, I am finally beginning to feel like myself again!

I'm sure many of my closest friends or even mere aquaintances probably are wondering, "Did she ever change?" ...But yes, deep inside myself, somewhere, I did change. I was losing interest in all of little things that once made me content with life. For example: Going to the movie store and picking myself out something to watch. And then of course, later than night watching the film all by myself while eating food and drinking pop. Another example would be sitting on the computer watching movie trailers or going on IMDB.com.

...I know these things don't seem like much to some people and I wouldn't even consider these things that much to me. But they are little interests that would add up to make me happy. Of course, these are just a couple of examples.

What I am trying to say is that over the past couple of years, something inside of me changed. I wasn't the same person anymore and kind of just lost my interest in everything as a whole. Maybe it's because I felt stuck in a life that I didn't want?

I'm not too sure what the answer is...but I do know, that lately I've been wanting to do more things that once made me happy. Big and little things. Whether that means watching movies by myself or spending more time with my friends and family.

Dare I say it? I finally feel happy and in a place where I think I finally belong. And who knows what my future holds for me? It seems as if everything is changing but still kind of staying the same.

You know, I used to have a scene with him.

Once upon a time there was a girl. She had a relatively good life with lots of friends and a loving family. Behind her, she had a college diploma, and a beginner's job in her industry. It was all relatively comforting and even motivating.

Still something in her life was missing.

...A big city where she could make all of her dreams come true! Unfortunately, she has to wait until she has about two years of experience in the industry to land a larger market job.

So for now, instead of having her face and voice recognized by all, she will remain unnoticed behind the camera.

That is all.

Proof that both of my scripts are written. AKA my radio demo script!

Good afternoon everyone and welcome to the J-Talk radio show. Jessica Kutok hanging out with you today where I will provide you with the hottest hits, life facts the latest news updates and of course all things Hollywood! Coming up in just a few minutes we have some Taylor Swift for ya, Nickleback, and Lady Gaga. But first, I'm gonna let you know what's goin' on in right here in Canada.

A seventeen year old mother has been charged and arrested with manslaughter after her three week old baby was killed by a Syberian Husky. Police say that the baby had been strapped into a baby seat set on the floor-while her mother and grandmother had stepped outside to have a cigarette. While they were outside, the dog attacked and killed the infant. The teen has said to have been released but is required to follow very strict conditions-including being forbidden to take care of children under 12 years old.

It seems that the secretary general for Amnesty International Canada says that even though stun gun use has been improved here in Canada, there needs to be a strict set of national standards. Alex Neve stated that even though they have seen some very welcome restrictions, what they need is consistency and coherence regarding stun gun use across the country. He also stated that there is a time and place for the use of a taser and even though it can be necessary in criminal situations, it needs to be handled appropriately. That's all for news-entertainment is next.

It has been recently reported that Heidi and Spencer have filed for a legal seperation. According to reports, the seperation is due to "irreconciable differences". Heidi will be staying with a member from The Hills' earlier seasons, Jen Bunny. One thing us Hill's fans know for sure, is that Heidi and Spencer love publicity which leaves us asking, is this just another publicity stunt?

After only a few short weeks of wearing a SCRAM anklet because of more legal issues regarding drugs and alcohol, Lindsay Lohan's anklet had been set off. The judge must contact the SCRAM company to see if she had any alcohol in her system or if it was just a malfunction of the anklet. Lindsay Lohan denies the anklet had been set off in the first place.

And that's all for your entertainment news, I'm Jessica Kutok.

Taylor Swift begins and fades out quickly.

Welcome back. Jessica here with you...

*Talk about weather*

*Talk about a statistic of some sort and your opinions on it*

Nickleback-Never gonna be alone-here on J-Talk.

Demo Reel Television Script. Keep in mind I will have pictures throughout the segment.

J-Talk Entertainment Script


(Intro:)

This week on J-Talk:

Heidi and Spencer have filed for a legal seperation-but is it just another publicity stunt?

and

Sandra Bullock wins the Generational Award at the MTV Movie Awards.

Don't go away, we have all this and more hot headlines here on J-Talk.


(Live Show:)

Hello everyone! Welcome to today's exciting edition of J-Talk. I'm your host, Jessica Kutok. Now today, I have a fascinating show for you viewers out there... We have some scandalous stuff for you guys as well as some heartfelt news and don't forget about our always exciting "Celebrity Seconds" section of the show-where I will give you short pieces of information on all things Hollywood!!

Now to start off, I'd really like to talk about the always exciting-always scandalous--Heidi and Spencer Pratt. Now for all you "Hills" fans out there, you probably noticed that Heidi and Spencer seem to have disappeared from the show for the past few episodes. More on that in just a minute but first-according to US Magazine, Heidi has actually filed for a legal seperation from Spencer and will alledgely be moving in with a member from the show's earlier seasons- Jen Bunny. Although, you have to wonder-is this just another publicity stunt to get their faces back on the Hills after being isolated from the show's infamous cast and back into the limelight? Unfortunately, there is no real way of knowing...but I guess time will be the one to answer that question for us.

Moving onto the MTV Movie Awards-Sandra Bullock took home this year's Generational Award-for her amazing movies, great role model status, and her overall courage and strength she must face in her everyday life. Having recently found out that her husband was having an affair, Sandra Bullock remains stable and grateful for the good things that have happened in her life-including her adopted child that was recently brought out into the public for the first time as well as her successful movie career. I think it's safe to say that Sandra Bullock definitely deserved the Generational Award along with great role model status for anyone facing difficult times in their lives.

And that's all for today's major headlines and now we're going to look at Celebrity Seconds.

According to Us Magazine, Glee's Lea Michele apparently acts like she is better than the rest of the cast-much like her character on the Fox hit show. Given her former Broadway background-an insider says, "But the thing is-she legitimately is."

It seems that Kelly Preston and John Travolta are more than happy about their recent pregnancy news-admitting that ever since their late son, Jett, died of a seizure. It was revealed that the celebrity couple was surprised even though they had been trying for a baby.

After only a few short weeks of wearing a "SCRAM" anklet after more legal issues involving drugs and alcohol, Lindsay Lohan's anklet alledgely shut off. The judge will need to contact the SCRAM company to check in on her blood alcohol level during this time or if it was just a simple malfunction of the bracelet.


And that is all the time I have for you today on J-Talk. Join me next time for more hot headlines.

Making my Dreams Come True-Finally!

I feel like I have forgotten all of the things that make me happy.
At one point in my life, I used to have a blast sitting around in my basement playing RPG video games or catching up on the latest celebrity gossip floating around the internet. It seems that lately I have been so busy working or just lazing around watching TV. Sure-I hang out with my friends almost everyday-which is always a day brightener...but I feel like I need to focus on my own happiness. Doing things with myself that I know leave me feeling content.

I got to thinking about all of this today when one of the news anchors asked me if Heidi and Spencer are really broken up. Six months ago I would've had the exact answer with all the dirty details-this time, I had no response.

I know this may not seem like a big deal to most of you, but celebrities at one point would fascinate me. Interviewing, researching their lives, writing and gossiping about is what I want to do with my life one day, so I just feel like it's crucial to know the answers to silly questions like that.

So what did I do? I came home from work and went on www.celebrity-gossip.net and updated myself on all the latest dirt. I forgot how much I missed it. How much I loved it. This all leads up to my final statement:

Tomorrow, I'm going to write my demo reel scripts (which is way overdue) and hopefully on Wednesday I am going to record my on-camera and voice over demo reels! I have absolutely everything I need now to send them away (Headshots and a resume) so I have no excuses! The only reason would be pure laziness and that won't get me anywhere!

Also, I need to do some serious researching on talent agencies in the Toronto and Vancouver area to send away my resume and headshots as well. I can't forget about my true passion-acting.

Oh, to be a dreamer.