My Love Affair with Food

I never imagined myself to be a woman who cooks.
When I was in College, I used to make jokes based on the fact that all I knew how to make was toast and Kraft Dinner and sometimes even failed at that.

I used to ask questions about other people's cooking...

"How'd you know how to make this?"
"Where do you find your recipes?"
"I could never make a meal this good. Have you always known how to cook?"

I was never confident in myself when it came to kitchens.
Once I started becoming interested in blogging, my favorite lifestyle bloggers would post a recipe every now and then and the ingredients they used would completely intrigue me.

I had never even heard of an avocado before blogging.

I started to learn more about how important it is to buy local foods.
How fantastic Gouda tastes on sandwich's or by itself.
I learned about the beauty of a roasted tomato and oil based pastas.
I discovered squash.

The more I started to read about these amazing recipes and the more I started to research actual food blogs, the more I started to become more curious.

I was yearning to try the recipes that I had found so I made my family my guinea pig and I had a lot of failed recipes. I'll never forget the time when I attempted to make Chicken Parmesan and it was seriously the most disgusting thing I've ever made. I was so new to cooking back then and probably no one around to answer my questions... and so it flopped. Big time. 

Which leads me to my next point... Questions.
In my first year of cooking (and even a little bit now), I asked a LOT of questions. I would second guess absolutely everything I made whether it was about measurements, substituting ingredients (which I would try not to do because I didn't know what tasted good with what), or what I should make as a side dish. I didn't understand anything so I would hound my mom and step mom about what to do. I seriously think this was the best thing I ever did in cooking rather than try and learn everything on my own.

Now when I cook, I can imagine flavors in my head (or mouth?) and know what ingredients and food products compliment each other.

I know (a little bit more) about measurements and if not, there's always Google!

I know what kind of spices or cheese I can use in place of something I don't have according to a recipe.

Even though I am still learning and would consider myself in a Culinary "Intermediate" level, my questions about cooking go more like this:

"What should I make for dessert? The Lemon Meringue or the Cheesecake?"
"Parmesan or Mozzarella...or both?"
"What type of wine should we pair with this meal?"

Or my personal favorite question....

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Stresses & Troubles

My goodness, I've been A-Wall lately.
Sorry about that (if anyone is listening?)

Anyway, life hasn't been easy around these parts lately. Hence the silence.
I can't go to school this fall because I didn't get approved for any of the loans I applied for because I own a car etc. I guess they consider my car tuition money, but I just can't sell it, you know?

So lately I've just been applying for job after job after job in the hopes that someone will take me in.
The only bright side of the situation is that I've been weather anchoring for the past 2 weeks straight so that's a little extra coin in my pocket.

I was really upset a couple of days ago when I found out school was 100% a no go, but the next day I woke up and and realized I'm going to think of this as an opportunity--not a set back. I'm going to use this opportunity to get a job that will make me happy and hopefully be able to settle into my new life a little more comfortably.

I guess being broke when you first move out tends to be a part of life anyway... and I guess you could say it's a little more fun!

Do you like my positive attitude? :)

Ho-Hum/Life Update

I can't seem to break out of this funk I've been in lately! Please help! Just kidding, but seriously.
I think I'm just having a really hard time getting used to working 6 days a week missing everything that seems to be important in my life usually having to do with family which is what I find to be most important. It's really starting to get me down, but such is life. I just keep thinking about how in a couple years once I can get my hands on a job in my field or even once I'm graduated, I will have a stability in my career again and I can start joining in on social activities. Call me a whiner, but I think when you're working in a part time job that isn't your career, you need to remember to make time for what is most important. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret quitting my full time office job AT ALL, I'm really happy I did it so I can work towards my goals, but I just can't help but be anxious for the next few years to zoom by so I can start living normally again. Le sigh.

On a different and happier note, t-minus 2 weeks until John & I are official roomies! I couldn't be more excited! I probably won't have any money for anything, but I seriously can't wait to cook us delicious dinners (or NOT cook us delicious dinners), actually be able to sit in my livingroom without the television being taken over by my parents or sisters, get to do laundry whenever I want without having to worry about getting in trouble, putting up my own decorations, et cetera!!! Wooo!

Also, John & I spent the past few nights out at the lake (even though I kept having to come in to work). It actually sort of worked out though because I never worked late so we'd still have our evenings to have fun swimming and reading (which is basically what we did the whole time). I read Catching Fire in like, 2 days. I still can't believe I didn't like the Hunger Games at this time last year, what was I thinking? I'm obsessed now and am already half way through the last book. I seriously can't get enough. We also enjoyed homemade wine from my dad and basically just enjoyed eachothers company.

Anyway, that's a little update on my life considering I never blog ever anymore... have a great day :)!

Not So New Start

I was so excited for today when I woke up and realized it was my first day on the new job! I enjoyed a delicious breakfast of some greek yogurt with blueberries and a piece of toast with peanut butter and was ready for my new adventure!

When I got to Swiss Chalet, the manager looked at me and said she had emailed me saying I don't actually start until Wednesday!!! You can imagine the huge forehead slap I gave myself internally at that moment when I had to give the walk of shame out of there! Oops.

As I was driving home, all I could think of was "What the heck am I gonna do for the next two days without work?!" I thought maybe I could go to yoga today but there are no appropriate classes for me...only tomorrow (so that's a definite plan).

And so here I am, no longer in my little nook at the office, but instead at home, sipping coffee while blogging in my sunroom and it feels really good.

I guess my new start isn't today, but Wednesday... you better believe I'm ready for you!!! :)

Changes & Stress

Friday is my last day in the Creative Writing Department. The job that gives me a steady pay check every couple of weeks... you know. The job that pays the bills!

I had a minor panic attack today when I thought about how much money I'll need each month in order to make ends meet and it's definitely not going to be an easy task.

I'm going to have to work SO much while I'm in school this fall in order to pay the rent, car payments, insurance, etc... Ugh I'm getting stressed just thinking about it! 

But I mean, I'm on a contract in Creative that comes up in August. Not only that, I would also would LOVE to help out some kids who don't have anyone else to guide them and help them see the light, ya know? And that's where the schooling comes in.

Another thing that's getting me down, is often times when I try to explain to someone (mainly family members) that I quit my job to work in a restaurant, they don't understand why I would do such a thing. They aren't getting my direction. I keep saying, I wouldn't have a job come August anyway and I'll still be Weather Anchoring at the same company.. but it doesn't seem like it's enough of an explanation to them. Sigh. 

I guess I just have to stop caring what other people think and do what I know is best for me right now.

I mean, it'll be hard for a few years but in the end, it'll definitely pay off and be worth it.

Movin' Up In The World!

Wait...who's a radio announcer?? ME? JESSICA?

You would guess correct!!!

I just got a job covering a Maternity Leave (while I remain here still writing in Creative) Announcing for a Radio Station!!!

I've always wanted to be an On-Air Personality and this is such a great foot in the door!

Wish me luck :D!

Looking Ahead: Places I Want To Go

Being at the young age of 21, I often think about the things that I want in my future. These include getting married, having a family and a career, a nice house to call home. But I can't turn my back on something I really really want...and that is to travel. I feel like before I can do all those other things, I want to see the world. But if life happens and my plan is changed and my list becomes out of order, I will have to accept that.

But for now, I can still dream.

Here are some of the places I would love to see:

New York City

Hawaii

 Australia

 Lake Tahoe

 Los Angeles

 New Zealand

Paris

And last but not least...

Disney World!

This one is special because I'm actually going next year with my family! In April or May. Please don't tell me either of these months are hurricane season though.. that would be just a little bit of a damper!

I'm curious... where do you all want to go?!



Looking forward to..

I don't have much to post.

I have a few new things to look forward to consisting of:

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep.
Glee on Box Set DVD.
Lord of the Rings: The fellowship of the Ring (the book).
Halloween.
Christmas.
Not eating ever again.
Exercising (Let's get serious.)

Future Pondering

I sometimes wonder what is going to happen after my temporary job (insert sad face) is completed.
Of course-I wish it was permanent. I love what I'm doing. For the first time ever, I look forward to going to work. But, alas, it's not. Although, you never know what could change in the meantime...7 months is a long time.

But-what comes after? If there are no job openings in the station, I'm back to square one. But with no job. Do I pick up my stuff and move to another city? I think my experience working with clients, professional writing, etc. might boost my chances of getting hired in a larger market. So, is that what I do? Just pick up and go? Serve tables until the media decides to hire me? Live in a bachelor sized apartment in a grungy Toronto area? Do I live in a small town with the high hopes of getting hired by them? And what happens if no one hires me?

These are all questions that I will sit here and ponder until March.

I consider myself extremely lucky that I have this Creative Writer job. So lucky.

I'll take all the experience I can get.

Decisions, decisions.

Isn't it crazy how something as simple as a phone call could potentially change your whole life?

Decisions make up the majority of a person's life. What type of shoes to wear? Which movie you should go see? What colour to paint your nails? Should you take the road with less construction or the fastest route?

People make decisions everyday, but most of the time, you don't realize you are doing it until one of those really big, life altering decisions come into effect.

Like, if I should go to Toronto for a volunteer hosting position. It's only an audition, but if I were to get it. I'd be packing up and moving for the Fall as well as looking for another job so I can afford to live on top of looking for a new (and cheap) apartment.

I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, but my life revolves around planning that next major step.

I guess you could say that (for some reason) I always have to have life mapped out, even if I don't quite know the direction I'm headed.

It's better to be safe than sorry!

So it seems that lately I have been using my blog as more of a spot to "complain" or to list things that will make me feel happier about life.

I'm okay with that, hopefully you readers are as well, because here comes another "whine".

Yesterday I counted 10 things wrong with my life. TEN THINGS!
I'm not about to list them because, let's face it, no one wants to know about all the little roadblocks in my life when there are so many people who have it far worse than I do.

But I've decided to write ELEVEN things that are good in my life in order to outrule the bad:

1. I'm one of the few graduates of my year to have a job in my field.
2. I have many friends who WANT to spend time with me and who WANT to know about my life.
3. I'm catching up on my debt.
4. My four dogs.
5. The many camping trips and small vacays I will be taking this summer.
6. I have a nice tan.
7. My hair is actually being cooperative for once.
8. I went flying in a small plane.
9. I saw Carrie Underwood and in the meantime fell in love with Craig Morgan!
10. I have a great family.
11. For the first time in months, I feel as though I am able to move on.

Is It Crazy For Me To Want It To Work Out?

For the first time in months or perhaps even in a couple of years, I am finally beginning to feel like myself again!

I'm sure many of my closest friends or even mere aquaintances probably are wondering, "Did she ever change?" ...But yes, deep inside myself, somewhere, I did change. I was losing interest in all of little things that once made me content with life. For example: Going to the movie store and picking myself out something to watch. And then of course, later than night watching the film all by myself while eating food and drinking pop. Another example would be sitting on the computer watching movie trailers or going on IMDB.com.

...I know these things don't seem like much to some people and I wouldn't even consider these things that much to me. But they are little interests that would add up to make me happy. Of course, these are just a couple of examples.

What I am trying to say is that over the past couple of years, something inside of me changed. I wasn't the same person anymore and kind of just lost my interest in everything as a whole. Maybe it's because I felt stuck in a life that I didn't want?

I'm not too sure what the answer is...but I do know, that lately I've been wanting to do more things that once made me happy. Big and little things. Whether that means watching movies by myself or spending more time with my friends and family.

Dare I say it? I finally feel happy and in a place where I think I finally belong. And who knows what my future holds for me? It seems as if everything is changing but still kind of staying the same.

You know, I used to have a scene with him.

Once upon a time there was a girl. She had a relatively good life with lots of friends and a loving family. Behind her, she had a college diploma, and a beginner's job in her industry. It was all relatively comforting and even motivating.

Still something in her life was missing.

...A big city where she could make all of her dreams come true! Unfortunately, she has to wait until she has about two years of experience in the industry to land a larger market job.

So for now, instead of having her face and voice recognized by all, she will remain unnoticed behind the camera.

That is all.

Making my Dreams Come True-Finally!

I feel like I have forgotten all of the things that make me happy.
At one point in my life, I used to have a blast sitting around in my basement playing RPG video games or catching up on the latest celebrity gossip floating around the internet. It seems that lately I have been so busy working or just lazing around watching TV. Sure-I hang out with my friends almost everyday-which is always a day brightener...but I feel like I need to focus on my own happiness. Doing things with myself that I know leave me feeling content.

I got to thinking about all of this today when one of the news anchors asked me if Heidi and Spencer are really broken up. Six months ago I would've had the exact answer with all the dirty details-this time, I had no response.

I know this may not seem like a big deal to most of you, but celebrities at one point would fascinate me. Interviewing, researching their lives, writing and gossiping about is what I want to do with my life one day, so I just feel like it's crucial to know the answers to silly questions like that.

So what did I do? I came home from work and went on www.celebrity-gossip.net and updated myself on all the latest dirt. I forgot how much I missed it. How much I loved it. This all leads up to my final statement:

Tomorrow, I'm going to write my demo reel scripts (which is way overdue) and hopefully on Wednesday I am going to record my on-camera and voice over demo reels! I have absolutely everything I need now to send them away (Headshots and a resume) so I have no excuses! The only reason would be pure laziness and that won't get me anywhere!

Also, I need to do some serious researching on talent agencies in the Toronto and Vancouver area to send away my resume and headshots as well. I can't forget about my true passion-acting.

Oh, to be a dreamer.

And she was done.

I am finished school forever.
It is now time to become an adult and stop being so whiny.
It was rather sweet when I came back to my desk today to find a card addressed to me. I opened it and many people of Dougall Media signed it wishing me luck in the future etc. It was very nice and unexpected. Surprisingly, I'll miss the 8 hour days.

...I don't want to grow up.