A Few of my Favorite Things

It's no lie that I have a daily struggle with what I see myself doing in the future.
I think many of us do.
But give me a nice glass of wine, a festive smelling candle & a good book and you have one happy gal.

Thanksgiving

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving (Canada) was incredible :)

Mine was spent out at the Lake eating lots of turkey and taking crisp & beautiful Autumn walks...

followed by making turkey dinner at our new apartment! My only complaint is that the Turkey could have been cooked about 20 minutes longer than it would've been perfect.

This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for:

• Being able to afford food & shelter (seriously.)
• Our little Minni.
• The lucky love I have in my life. By no means are John & I perfect, but we're definitely perfect for each other. 
• Our families who take incredibly good care of us and "let" us raid their cupboards (hehe).
• Pretty Little Liars. LOL!

What are you thankful for?

Stresses & Troubles

My goodness, I've been A-Wall lately.
Sorry about that (if anyone is listening?)

Anyway, life hasn't been easy around these parts lately. Hence the silence.
I can't go to school this fall because I didn't get approved for any of the loans I applied for because I own a car etc. I guess they consider my car tuition money, but I just can't sell it, you know?

So lately I've just been applying for job after job after job in the hopes that someone will take me in.
The only bright side of the situation is that I've been weather anchoring for the past 2 weeks straight so that's a little extra coin in my pocket.

I was really upset a couple of days ago when I found out school was 100% a no go, but the next day I woke up and and realized I'm going to think of this as an opportunity--not a set back. I'm going to use this opportunity to get a job that will make me happy and hopefully be able to settle into my new life a little more comfortably.

I guess being broke when you first move out tends to be a part of life anyway... and I guess you could say it's a little more fun!

Do you like my positive attitude? :)

Ho-Hum/Life Update

I can't seem to break out of this funk I've been in lately! Please help! Just kidding, but seriously.
I think I'm just having a really hard time getting used to working 6 days a week missing everything that seems to be important in my life usually having to do with family which is what I find to be most important. It's really starting to get me down, but such is life. I just keep thinking about how in a couple years once I can get my hands on a job in my field or even once I'm graduated, I will have a stability in my career again and I can start joining in on social activities. Call me a whiner, but I think when you're working in a part time job that isn't your career, you need to remember to make time for what is most important. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret quitting my full time office job AT ALL, I'm really happy I did it so I can work towards my goals, but I just can't help but be anxious for the next few years to zoom by so I can start living normally again. Le sigh.

On a different and happier note, t-minus 2 weeks until John & I are official roomies! I couldn't be more excited! I probably won't have any money for anything, but I seriously can't wait to cook us delicious dinners (or NOT cook us delicious dinners), actually be able to sit in my livingroom without the television being taken over by my parents or sisters, get to do laundry whenever I want without having to worry about getting in trouble, putting up my own decorations, et cetera!!! Wooo!

Also, John & I spent the past few nights out at the lake (even though I kept having to come in to work). It actually sort of worked out though because I never worked late so we'd still have our evenings to have fun swimming and reading (which is basically what we did the whole time). I read Catching Fire in like, 2 days. I still can't believe I didn't like the Hunger Games at this time last year, what was I thinking? I'm obsessed now and am already half way through the last book. I seriously can't get enough. We also enjoyed homemade wine from my dad and basically just enjoyed eachothers company.

Anyway, that's a little update on my life considering I never blog ever anymore... have a great day :)!

The Basics

I've decided this summer sucks.
LAST summer was amazing with so much time outside and having barbecues, but no not this summer! This summer I am working, working, working. But I guess that's the price you pay when you quit your full time job to work shift work in preperation for going back to school. So I guess for now I just have to suck it up!

But here's a little update on my life:

Yesterday, my Mom and I went shopping for some of the basics me and John will need for the new house! I picked up things like mixing bowls, casserole dishes, spatulas, toilet bowl brushes and more! And I got everything on sale from Canadian Tire. That place may just be my new fave! Who knew all the great deals they would have there? I was getting things for 60-70% off! So happy!

We just need things like bowls, plates, silverware and a coffee machine now!

A little less than a few short weeks and we are flyin' solo! So excited.

Looking Up

I'm not really sure what's changed from now since my last post, but I already feel more at ease.

Our landlord contacted us to let us know we're still good to go for our apartment which was something I was stressed out about and now I'm just laying on the couch having a beer with John in my robe. Everything just feels easy right now.

Let's just hope things stay this simple and happy because I'm lovin' the way life feels right now. I just need to find a way to keep up this positive attitude.

And making lots of money tonight at work definitely didn't hurt either!

Have a great evening. :)

Whiny Post

At the risk of sounding like a whiner, but let's face it, I really don't care right now, I'm in a mega bad mood.

My whole family is going camping this weekend and I can't go because I have to work. Part time problems right?

Yet another reminder over the fact that I really need to start booking off time when I know I'm just going to feel like crap when I have to miss out on the things that mean the most to me come summer time.

Among other reasons, I'm just feeling sort of stressed out lately and I really want all the anxiety to just GTFO, if you know what I mean. A couple weeks ago, I felt like I was on top of the world and I really miss that contentement. Where the heck did it go?

Being seriously happy is the best feeling in the world and I really need to take a good long hard look at my emotions and responsibilities in order to feel good again. That is all.

p.s. this post isn't helping.

On Changes And Other Things...

Yesterday I started talking with my family about how when I move out on August 1st, they aren't going to be calling me everytime they do something together as a family. For example, if they decide to go on a camping trip or a mini trip to the States, I won't be invited unless it "comes up in converesation". Call me a baby, but this absolutely floored me.

I started to cry because let's face it, I found this to be very sad. Just because I'm not living with them anymore doesn't mean I shouldn't be invited on the family trips... Or does it?

All I know, is that when I have kids and they grow up, I'll still invite them to at least SOME places because isn't the saying, "the more the merrier" and aren't family vacations absolutely awesome? Or maybe that's just me.

Is it normal for people who are already moved out to stop attending the family vacations?

It just gives me an uncomfortable feeling. I'm aware I'm starting to build my own life, but that doesn't mean my family isn't apart of it?

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a huge sap.

Regardless of the changes that are happening and my having trouble accepting them, I'm getting really excited for the big move! Only one month minus 2 days!!! It's going to be here before we know it! Which reminds me, we need to buy some furniture..

Currently

I'm feeling super bummed today and was gonna just rant about all my "woes", but when I read Danielle's currently post, I decided to just talk about my feelings constructively. Even though I'm probably just being a whiner.

Loving: Being out on the lake. My favorite thing in the world is to go out to John's camp and just drink some beverages while having a delicious meal. All while sitting out by the lake! That's my idea of a perfect day. :)


Reading: A Song of Ice and Fire Series: A Feast for Crows (4th book). Seriously guys, these books are phenomenal. I'm sure you've heard of the epic show "Game of Thrones". If you like the show, please do me a favor, and read the books. You won't regret it. I never thought I'd like such a heavy novel based on kings, queens, fantasy, royal politics, etc.. but the writing just draws you right in, the characters are practically real, and the storylines are shocking.

Watching: The last season of Friday Night Lights. I'm stretching it out though because I don't want it to end, ha. I'll probably finish it this weekend because I'm a loner on Canada Day Weekend. Sigh.


Anticipating: Monday! Here's where I start to whine. John is out camping with all his friends and I was supposed to go but now that I have a part time job and not Monday to Friday hours, I have to work so I can't go. I'm super bummed out about this. There's nothing I love more than being by the lake and on such a special weekend, it's even more exciting. But instead, I'm working and none of my friends are able to do anything on my off hours, so I'm literally going to be laying in bed all weekend watching TV. Such an exciting life I lead. Ugh.

Listening to: If I Die Young-The Band Perry. This song is so, so beautiful. I love how the format of the song is different from most and the message is just so enticing.

Planning: Our big move on August 1st. We have so much to do so July is going to be our month for that. We have a lot of things to pay for and not a whole lot of money right now so should be interesting. But I'm so ready for this.

Working on: Not being so whiny about everything and controlling my temper. Sometimes I can act like a 5 year old when handling situations and if something doesn't go the way I want it to, I get really angry. That needs to really stop. That's what Tiny Buddha is for! :)


Wishing: That I was camping with everyone or that I at least had plans for Canada Day. I'm seriously expecting this weekend to be horrible because I feel miserable about it.

Any ways to turn my mood around and have fun on my own? I was thinking of getting creative with some baking maybe. 

New Job

Yesterday was my very first day working at Swiss Chalet and I have ONE thing to say.

Holy crap.

What a work out! I'm not even joking. I probably sound like such a wimp but after 2 years of sitting in an office at a desk job, running around for 7.5 hours are gonna make me fit as hell. My legs were so sore after work!

The hours for the job are sort of whacky, like yesterday I worked from 12-3 and then 

I had to go back from 4-8. And today I work 12-4 and have to go back from 5-930. But man, I need these hours! They are going to help pay for mine and John's kitty...oh, and furniture, I guess. 

I can tell it'll be really fun though and will keep me happy until something happens with my new industry. I'm so excited for the future! 

On another note, I still love being at home at different hours of the day, like right now for example. It's 9:41 in the morning and I'm enjoying an iced coffee (made with chocolate milk!) and a delicious bagel and it's soo worth it! The only thing I can't stand is when the girls are getting ready for school, it's like they've never woken up before. Everything is so chaotic. I'm in the basement so I just hear EVERYTHING and it drives me insane. Some mornings I want to cry from the noise. However, they are getting me up and ready for the day instead of sleeping until the last possible second before work... so I guess it's okay. Anyway, I feel genuinely happy about life right now even if some people, like my family, don't understand how I could give up a full time job for this. I think it's really exciting! 

Until next time. :)

Not So New Start

I was so excited for today when I woke up and realized it was my first day on the new job! I enjoyed a delicious breakfast of some greek yogurt with blueberries and a piece of toast with peanut butter and was ready for my new adventure!

When I got to Swiss Chalet, the manager looked at me and said she had emailed me saying I don't actually start until Wednesday!!! You can imagine the huge forehead slap I gave myself internally at that moment when I had to give the walk of shame out of there! Oops.

As I was driving home, all I could think of was "What the heck am I gonna do for the next two days without work?!" I thought maybe I could go to yoga today but there are no appropriate classes for me...only tomorrow (so that's a definite plan).

And so here I am, no longer in my little nook at the office, but instead at home, sipping coffee while blogging in my sunroom and it feels really good.

I guess my new start isn't today, but Wednesday... you better believe I'm ready for you!!! :)

Anxious.

I went home for lunch today and decided to enjoy the sunshine before I had to go back to my desk job. I basically just sat there and thought about all the things that are going to be happening in my life sooner than later!

My last day as a Creative Writer is on June 15th and I'm starting to get really anxious for all the big changes coming up in my life. I start my serving job on June 18th and will hopefully be working there a lot to prepare for our big move on August 1st which is a whole other change in itself.

It feels like it's still so far away before we take the next big step in our relationship but I know it's going to be here before we know it!

The past week we had to house sit his Mom's while she was out of town and it's been so nice, just the two of us... doing what we both want to do whether it's together or seperate. It's nice to have that comfort of knowing that we're both just in the other room... there's no waiting to hang out, waiting for him to pick me up to go out, etc. We're both just there and there's something so comforting about it.

I seriously can't wait.

Boringest Weekend of All Time

1st Pic: Scrambled Eggs LOADED with vegetables and Feta Goat Cheese
2nd Pic: Mustard Crusted Chicken recipe from Pam.. SOO good.
3rd Pic: Tabbouleh (Lebanese Salad... not sure if I spelt that right though)

This past weekend John went out of town for work and normally my weekends are spent doing whatever we decide to do... but this weekend, I didn't have my BFF to hang out with.
Which basically gave me a huge reality check that I should probably make more time for friends considering I was bored stiff, lol.


But in actuality (is that a word?), I wasn't a complete lump all weekend.. I did do something things.


Friday I watched My Week with Marilyn which was such a beautiful film... seriously, watch it. You won't regret it. And I also sobbed my eyes out to Marley & Me. Please keep in mind I was by myself and if you were looking down on me, I probably looked more than pathetic haha.


Both Saturday & Sunday I got my Hot Yoga on so I took the time to at least take care of myself.
Also Saturday, my friend Andrea and I went to the Folklore Festival (which is a cultural festival in town featuring all types of activities, performances and the best part... food from all over the world!). I had such a delicious Lebanese Salad... I'm not even sure of what they put in it to make it so amazing but I find myself craving it now. I finished Saturday off by watching 2 more movie (MoneyBall and We Bought a Zoo). I didn't like MoneyBall... I though it was boring. But I LOVED We Bought a Zoo. Such a cute story.


That was basically my weekend.
And the award goes to me for the boringest post of all time!!! Gold star.

Gloomy

 My lunch today.

It's been raining for practically 2 weeks straight here in Northern Ontario and I'm one of those people where the rain really, really affects my mood.

John is leaving town today for work and it's sort of weird because this is the first time he's left me. We were apart for 10 days when I was in Florida and I really missed him but I was kept so busy that it didn't really phase me.

So, this weekend will be spent baking lots of delicious goodies (hopefully), yoga and video games on my new TV because I'm nerdy like that. Also, me and my friend Andrea are going to check out the Folklore Festival in town...which is basically a day full of culture and food.

My plan for this evening was actually to go to yoga but I just feel so tired that I'd rather just go home, make some enchiladas for my family and call it a night!! Sounds good to me. :)

As for the photo up there, it doesn't look like much but it tasted so good! I didn't realize that asparagus and eggs complimented eachother so well. I attempted to make poached eggs but after it failing completely and me doing a bit of research, I realized I made them completely wrong. Oh well, there's always next time!

Looking Forward

Ever since I got back from Florida, I've been in a bit of a rut.
But I guess the saying is "it has to get worse before it can get better" and I already feel like that's coming true.
I can't say too much right now because nothings for sure yet... but John and I may have a very exciting opportunity ahead of us. One I've been waiting for for a while now. Something that's going to make us grow & enjoy life more in general! More on that later.

Something I can talk about however, is how we have a little mini trip coming up in a couple weeks. We're going to London, Ontario to see a really close friend of mine get married! I've never been to London before but I've heard great things. It'll be fun to just enjoy eachothers company too for the weekend considering we've never been on a trip just the two of us! I'm expecting a nice hotel room, delicious dinners, and lots of wandering! haha.

Maybe our next trip can be somewhere a bit more extravagant? I was thinking Bora Bora? ha.

Food

All I can think about is food right now.
I'm sitting at work absolutely STARVING because I'm trying to limit my carb intake (so of course, the only type of breakfast food at home was CARB filled) so this morning I had an apple and an atkins granola bar.

I don't know about you, but in order to look good, but most importantly FEEL good, is a LOT of work.

I don't have time to cook in the morning! I get out of bed at the last possible second but if that weren't the case I'd LOVE to make some eggs. And maybe work out. Which is completley non existant in my life (again).

I love food more than anything and all kinds of it! Sometimes, I don't want the healthiest option on the menu, I just want a burger! But then of course, I know I'm going to pay for it after.

Anyway, this is just a silly post that doesn't mean anything. I know I should eat healthier and get exercise blah blah blah, but I DON'T WANT TO!

Clothing-Must Have's

Looking through my closet sometimes trying to figure out what to wear whether for work or for play is always so difficult. I am in desperate need of new clothes.
I think my problem is when I go shopping, I don't actually have a set list of what I need opposed to what I want.
I finally made up a list of new clothing items that are necessary for me right now.
I'm sure in the fall this will change.
Behold:

1. Coloured Capri pants (dress) for work. (or even in beige)

2. Heeled shoes that are comfortable

3. New work flats

4. Some nice dresses for work with high neck hems

5. A couple of summer dresses

6. Tights…Black/White.

7. Some loose fitted button ups maybe some in bright colours?

8. Horizontal Striped Shirts

9. Some loose fitted tanks (stylish)

10. Wife Beater Tank Tops

11. Spaghetti Strap Tanks

12. Blazer (small blazer that I can wear over tank tops)

13. Cute Skirts

14. Skinny Dress Pants (not just in black)

15. Oxfords

I think it's a pretty good list.

What about you? What are your must have's for your closet?? I could really use the suggestions!!

Some Goals for the Future

* There are so many places I'd love to see. New York City, Paris, Greece, Lake Tahoe, Bahamas, Alaska... pretty much any area I've never been to with culture involved. I just don't know if I could live with myself if I just stayed in one spot my whole life and was ignorant to the rest of the world.

*Continue drinking all this water like I have been. Before, I never drank water...ever. And now, I've been drinking mass amounts. Never before has my body felt more hydrated... I really feel like my blood is pumpin' you know?!

* Settle into a permanent career that I'm very happy with.

*Go back to school. Take Child and Youth work and then go on to work with kids who are less fortunate than me. Make a difference in their lives. Feel content. Feel fulfilled. --> See previous entry.

*Have my own little family in a cute little house. Whether here or in a different city. Big or Small.

*If I don't live on a lake or in a bush and I live in the city, I want to have a little camp out in the woods and on a lake so I can escape to quiet and get away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

*Have 2 little dogs and some little munchkins.

*Be with the love of my life and continue to laugh.

With all of these things I will remain happy.

Twin Cities/Taylor Swift Trip!

Okay,
I'm having some serious issues with my photo album from this trip.
I can't upload the pics on facebook. And apparently, I can't upload them now on Blogger.
Today is just NOT my day.

So I'll just tell you about the trip and then try posting some pictures later.

So the first night we got there, we went to the Rainforest Cafe which was obviously delicious and SO cool. John and Jill had never been there before so they were so excited about it. The food was SO good from there, too.
And then we went to Sea Life which is in the Mall of America. At first we though it wasn't really worth 20 dollars but then we got into the big overhead tube aquarium with the massive sharks and sea turtles and it was so awesome! So naturally, we changed our minds about it being worth our money. I was like a little kid in a candy store...or on Christmas morning.

The next day we shopped till we dropped! I spent WAY too much money. And then that evening was Taylor Swift. I was SO excited for this concert, it wasn't even funny. I got so anxious and couldn't even enjoy the opening bands. Before she came on stage, everything was hidden behind a big curtain and she started talking to us and I just got so excited I started to cry. Yes, tease away. I'm embarrasing. It's fine.

T. Swift was so amazing, though. Like, she blew my mind and was just oh so beautiful! So much power and passion in all of her songs. I just love her.

The next day we did MORE shopping (oh, goodness.) and then did Nickelodeon Universe in the mall. It was so much fun, but I can't really do spinny rides so John and Jill bonded lots by going on some pretty crazy rides together. Although, I did go on a really nutty roller coaster where you go up on a 90 degree angle and then go down a really steep drop. It was hilarious and OH SO scary.

And then on our final day, we got lost in the Twin Cities and pretty much did a whole tour of that whole area and ended up in like 4 different places that we shouldn't have been in, all because I accidentally told John to turn on the wrong ramp. We ended up figuring it out (after lots of stress, you can imagine.) but then John was going the wrong way (towards Illinois) so we had to turn around. We got caught in terrible construction too. We didn't get home til midnight and we hit the road at about 1 in the afternoon. So embarrasing.

But that was my trip. Hopefully the pictures will work soon so I can post some.

Fitting In

Everybody has tried to fit in once or twice and maybe a hell of a lot more in their lives.
Growing up, I always wanted to dress like everybody else.
I remember in Grade 6, everybody had Gap and I wanted to wear Gap too, but my family couldn't afford it so I was stuck with hand-me-downs. And let me tell you, as a pre-teen, this sucked. A lot.
But looking back on it, I actually embrace my uniqueness to everybody else. And I'm thankful that I didn't wear Gap like everybody else.

Fast forward a few years and throughout high school and it was sort of the same, but just not as bad. As a teenager, you want so badly to have tons of friends and to be liked. And I was liked, yes but didn't care much for the people in my high school. Most of my close friends were at other schools. Looking back on this, that doesn't bother me too much either.

But the thing is, is that it did then. It bothered me then.

And even now: sometimes I don't wear the most "stylish" outfits and my hair isn't always perfect. But you know what? I like it that way.

I'm so incredibly done with trying to please everyone around me in order to not be teased or made to feel guilty.

My clothes won't always match. I'm going to wear what I want to wear no matter if I'm breaking rules or not.
My hair isn't going to be perfect.
My skin is flawed.
I'm sensitive.
I'm blunt.
I'm also very kind, considerate and understanding.
But most of all I'm happy. I'm happy with myself and I'm happy with my life. And I'm not going to change the way I am just to "fit in" because then I wouldn't be me. And that's just not right.

I also have a boyfriend who just recently reminded me of why I should always be myself and never aim to be anybody else but me. Because he loves me just the way I am.
If my clothes are matching or not.
I am loved.
And I am loved by myself... and that's what really matters.



Me in my Kingdom Hearts Blanket.