Whiny Post

At the risk of sounding like a whiner, but let's face it, I really don't care right now, I'm in a mega bad mood.

My whole family is going camping this weekend and I can't go because I have to work. Part time problems right?

Yet another reminder over the fact that I really need to start booking off time when I know I'm just going to feel like crap when I have to miss out on the things that mean the most to me come summer time.

Among other reasons, I'm just feeling sort of stressed out lately and I really want all the anxiety to just GTFO, if you know what I mean. A couple weeks ago, I felt like I was on top of the world and I really miss that contentement. Where the heck did it go?

Being seriously happy is the best feeling in the world and I really need to take a good long hard look at my emotions and responsibilities in order to feel good again. That is all.

p.s. this post isn't helping.

My Own Happiness

So overall, I'm a very happy girl.

I have so much in my life to be grateful for such as an amazing boyfriend, a loving family, and great friends (and of course 4 cute dogs).

I have a roof over my head, a vehicle to drive (barely), food on the table in front of me and a job that pays my small amount of bills.

However, I've been noticing something about myself lately.

A relatively new discovery.

My happiness comes from making other people happy so I don't feel guilty.

I'm just not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I make almost every decision because of someone else. I put everybody in my life's happiness before my own.

I don't think I should do that all the time. I think I need to start focusing more on what works best for me and what, in the end, will make me happy.

I can't always make my decisions based on someone else's feelings or because I'm afraid my decision might make someone angry with me.

So I'm putting myself first from now on. However, of course I will still strive on making those I love around me, happy. That's what I live for. To make other's happy. But, I still need to remember that my happiness is just as important, and if not, more important.

And I'm thinking that the significant people in my life will realize that disappointment is sometimes inevitable but they need to accept my decisions whether they like it or not...because well my decisions are not their decisions to make.