October 19, 2010

I'm Trying To Handle All This Un-Predictability.

I've kind of been thinking lately.
Just thinking and looking at how my life has panned out over the past year.
I've definitely had hard, emotional times. There have been times where I have a had a lot of fun and felt content. I feel like it's kind of a rollercoaster of emotion.

I am happy to say that for the first time in a long time I feel truly and honestly happy. I feel hopeful.

For the first time, I don't care.

I am looking forward to what my future brings and I'm not dwelling in my past.

It's such a good feeling.

But of course, sometimes with happiness comes obstacles and difficulties to get what you want and where you want to go.

I can only hope that somehow I'm able to sort out these problems so nothing can stand in my way.

I know what I want even though I don't know how I got to this point. Sometimes things just happen. Life, essentially, just happens and there's nothing you can do about it.

I guess lust, love, relationships (or whatever) wouldn't really mean the same thing if it wasn't hard. I don't really think it's ever easy.

But I think every step of the way is worth it.

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