June 21, 2011

Fitting In

Everybody has tried to fit in once or twice and maybe a hell of a lot more in their lives.
Growing up, I always wanted to dress like everybody else.
I remember in Grade 6, everybody had Gap and I wanted to wear Gap too, but my family couldn't afford it so I was stuck with hand-me-downs. And let me tell you, as a pre-teen, this sucked. A lot.
But looking back on it, I actually embrace my uniqueness to everybody else. And I'm thankful that I didn't wear Gap like everybody else.

Fast forward a few years and throughout high school and it was sort of the same, but just not as bad. As a teenager, you want so badly to have tons of friends and to be liked. And I was liked, yes but didn't care much for the people in my high school. Most of my close friends were at other schools. Looking back on this, that doesn't bother me too much either.

But the thing is, is that it did then. It bothered me then.

And even now: sometimes I don't wear the most "stylish" outfits and my hair isn't always perfect. But you know what? I like it that way.

I'm so incredibly done with trying to please everyone around me in order to not be teased or made to feel guilty.

My clothes won't always match. I'm going to wear what I want to wear no matter if I'm breaking rules or not.
My hair isn't going to be perfect.
My skin is flawed.
I'm sensitive.
I'm blunt.
I'm also very kind, considerate and understanding.
But most of all I'm happy. I'm happy with myself and I'm happy with my life. And I'm not going to change the way I am just to "fit in" because then I wouldn't be me. And that's just not right.

I also have a boyfriend who just recently reminded me of why I should always be myself and never aim to be anybody else but me. Because he loves me just the way I am.
If my clothes are matching or not.
I am loved.
And I am loved by myself... and that's what really matters.

Me in my Kingdom Hearts Blanket.

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